How to not be stupid 101

How to not be stupid will be a complicated one, since there are many varieties of dumb. In this course, it will be broken down into the following categories:

  1. Ignorance
  2. Lack of common sense/logic
  3. General closed-mindedness

  • Ignorance is obliviousness to things that should be common knowledge.

Examples include thinking that all Asian people are from China or wondering why Vietnam is so blistering hot all year long. Education. It’s a good thing. Unfortunately, the public education system is obviously failing because people do not know basic things like basic geography. Such as arguing with me that I’m not Asian, but Vietnamese. Vietnam is in Asia, hon.

Therefore, the logical train of thought would be: if her ethnicity is Vietnamese and Vietnam is in Asia, then she must be Asian. Huzzah, you don’t fail at life now.

Ignorance can be prevented by reading books of all subjects and keeping up with current events. This then prevents you from looking like a complete moron in front of the girl whom you just asked a stupid question (i.e. “Really? Vietnam is still communist? I thought they were independent.”).

  • Lack of common sense/logic (self explanatory)

Examples include staying until past closing and still not leaving or arriving just before closing and giving general hell to the poor bastard that can’t leave because of you. And you wonder why the employees seem so angry?

You have a brain (not arguable that you have one anatomically, it is debatable if you use it for stupid purposes), therefore use it intelligently. Don’t be loud and obnoxious at some ungodly hour when the general knowledge is that people are still asleep. Do not argue with the people handling your food. No, the customer is not always right.

And you’re not allowed to ask why everyone was glaring at you all day if you acted like a complete asshat.

  • General closed-mindedness (refusing to accept other perspectives and opinions)

This can only be remedied by listening to others opinions and accepting them as their own, not shoving your views down their throats. This will only make them hate you more. It also helps if you avoid wingnuts from both the left and right side of the political spectrum. This means avoiding FoxNews, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and the like. Also not keeping idiots company helps.

And that will be the end of today’s lesson.

2 responses to “How to not be stupid 101

  1. MJ

    Good post. The one about Asians really reminded me of this conversation I had…

    Me: “I can’t wait for the Asian people to bring me my chinese food.”
    Girl: “They aren’t Asian, they are Chinese.”
    Me: “Where is China?”
    Girl: “Oh…”

    Also, I guess you could say that all sides of the political spectrum are close-minded in their own way. Try to tell a lib that single payer health care is bad…they will never look at it your way. Tell a conservative that Barack was born in Hawaii,,,they will have a field day with that one!

  2. Will

    You do realize Rush, Ann, and Fox all share close to the same views? Kinda sounds like ignorance to me.

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