I’m not exactly a fan of beaches or places that is well-known for it’s outdoor attractions. This is mostly due to my inability to be outside due to me burning easily and being allergic to sunscreen. My sensitive skin is also not a fan of bugs and I’m also allergic to bug spray. Yeah, I’m not made for outside. Our ancestors worked very hard on the concept of inside, so I do not want to insult their memory by purposely going outside.
But back to the point of this post: Florida. It must not be a coincidence that the state is phallic-shaped. There are many reasons that support my hatred of this state beside my inability to go outside and all of the reasons to go to Florida involves outside.
Pythons, alligators, and other things that eat animals and small children.
I realize that alligators are native to the state, but I prefer not ever encountering them. And pythons are an invasive species with no natural enemies, so they get gigantic and scary. They both eat small (and not so small) animals and small children. Umm, no. I am sure I would lose in that fight. Lee Newton of SourceFed shares my exact same reaction when it comes to pythons and snakes in general.
Beaches, tourist traps, and general obnoxiousness.
Stephen Fry describes beach towns and resorts perfectly, “Dreary things like palm trees and cut-out parrots that promise so much and deliver so staggeringly little.”
Florida consists of beaches and ugly concrete buildings. The ocean and beaches itself are beautiful, but the concrete boxes that inhabit the area take away from its beauty. Think of it as being slapped in the face just as you’re about to receive a present.
Every place that offers oceans and beaches are all the same. Nearby and overpriced seafood restaurants and bars. Tacky tourist shops and attractions. Crowds of sweaty people with questionable hygiene and sense of propriety (I mean the people who wear things that barely cover any thing). People who are ignorant of getting skin cancer or actively welcome it. And this type of environment just seems to bring the obnoxious behavior out of people or makes it worse. There is very little beauty or ability to appreciate the scenery when it’s ruined by all of these things.
I like my seasons, and Florida lacks them.
I hate summer, and Florida it seems is in a perpetual state of summer or late-spring turning into summer. And I hate winter too, but that is not the point. I do like spring, but I think it’s mostly due to the relief it gives from winter. I love autumn the most. Unfortunately, autumn seems to get the short end of the stick in terms of duration compared to the others. For the most part, autumn truly exists in October. It is when the temperature is perfectly cool, not bitter cold like it can be in November. By October, the trees have turned into their beautiful yellows, reds, and oranges.
October is also my favorite month because of my birthday and Halloween. More points for autumn!
And autumn-related desserts (or rather apple pie) tastes best in the fall (October) for some reason. Or maybe that’s just me. It is apple picking season, which means it’s cider season. It also means it’s time to make pie, cake, muffins, apple crisp, and everything else that involves the delicious combination of apples and spices.
Because I have to put up with what seems like endless winters and humid/miserable summers, it makes me appreciate autumn more because of it’s precious and short duration. I cannot get my beautiful autumn colored trees, apple-related deliciousness, and everything else if I ever go to Florida.