I went shopping on Black Friday. However, I am not one of those people that wake up at an ungodly hour to go shopping. I like my sleep and I don’t want to deal with the possibility of being trampled. I did go in the afternoon when it was less… insane to say the least.

I found something very disturbing which made me weep for humanity. Technically this was on Wednesday and not on Black Friday, but it was still at the mall. Just an FYI, I hate Twilight and anything dealing with sparkly vampires. The vampires I grew up with were terrifying and killed people. None of this sparkling, stalking, and general weakminded-ness of female characters.

I was in a toy store and saw a woman whom I am guessing is in her 30’s and she was wearing a “My Husband Sparkles” tshirt. A middle-age woman. Oh dear God. There are better male characters that are so much better than Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen has nothing on Mr. Darcy. Edward is a pathetic excuse of a character with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I wish people would get over mooning over him and this God awful franchise soon.

And then I find this on FML, which I find very fitting for the situation:

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I’m in the sunlight. FML

And then I went to Borders, and I think in my head this was Borders way of making my day better after seeing that tshirt. There is a reason why bookstores are my happy place.

Invasion of adorable pandas!

Borders was invaded by plush pandas. All of the floor associates were not only handing out flyers, but were carrying pandas everywhere they went. And I kinda really wanted one. A lot. They were soft, fuzzy, and adorable. I’m a sucker for all three of those adjectives, especially if they’re in the same sentence.

It was supposed to be a promotion of a new children’s book about a panda. This wasn’t a random invasion of pandas.

Time for a real entry. Sorry about the lack of updates (not that anyone really read this anyways).

I question whether or not Darwin’s Law is working or not. Because during my three years in college, I think the freshmen are getting more dumb.

Specifically the ones from Long Island. Or people from Long Island in general. They gripe and moan how cold it is when it’s 60 degrees out. Being that I’m from the area, and dealt with my share of REAL winters. 60 degrees is a balmy day. It’s like in Russia. In Russia they have winter and then they have the general winter which sets in a little later. The general winter is a lot colder and miserable than winter in Russia. Granted, our winters are nothing compared to Russia, but that’s what it basically is. We have winter (late November to December) and winter 2.0 (most of spring semester, which I think is a way to mock us by calling it “spring” when 6 feet of snow just fell). I love seeing how they react to “spring.”

Which brings me to the next point. I remember one time when I overheard a freshman (from Long Island, of course) how they go outside in jeans and a hoodie in winter. Dude, downstate winters are a lot more mild than the ones up here. Here you need to bundle up and look like an eskimo before setting foot outside. And no, you’re not allowed to complain that you’re cold when you’re wearing a mini skirt that barely covers your ass and a coat that isn’t made for a real winter.

Get used to winters where being outside for only a few seconds will make your face hurt. Survival of the fittest. And no, there isn’t really a thing called “spring” here.

And learn how to walk around campus instead of taking the shuttle bus, you lazy bastards. You can get to your destination faster on foot than waiting around for the bus.

I’m a movie buff. I like to think of myself as a different type of movie-goer that only goes for the hell of it (read: I r movie snob). I think taking cinematography in high school only made me more of a film snob.

I just hope my wallet isn’t entirely too angry with me with all of the movies I want to see this winter.

The Princess and the Frog

I grew up with Disney. Despite my qualms with their tendency to milk every franchise they can, I’m so frikkin’ ecstatic that they are returning to traditional hand-drawn 2D animation. The return of the Broadway style musicals they are so well-known for makes me excited too. Going off from the trailers, the animation looks gorgeous. And I love jazz music. Also, the Prince looks to be a lively character compared to the majority of past Disney Princes (ie: The Little Mermaid, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, etc) who were just kinda too perfect and bland.

Nine

I’m a sucker for musicals. Daniel Day Lewis, Marion Cortillard, Judi Dench, and Nicole Kidman are in this. Enough said.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is awesome. Add in Robert Downey, Jr. and it’s even more awesome. And when was the last time there was a Sherlock Holmes movie that wasn’t usually a made-for-TV (read: BBC) movie? I thought so.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Heath Ledger’s last movie. It also looks frikkin’ trippy and awesome.

Also because his daughter, Matilda, wasn’t in his will before he died (no one exactly planned for him to die this soon obviously), Johnny Depp and Jude Law gave their salaries for this movie to Matilda. All together now: Awwww!

So Hugo died again not too long ago. The starter stopped (I will always find that oxymoron amusing). He’s alive now that my dad resurrected it. After two trips to Auto Zone and spending $180 on a new starter.

Basically, it wouldn’t start. Originally thought it was the battery that died, turned out the battery was fine. My dad’s next idea was that it could be the starter. And his way of diagnosing this was hitting the starter with a metal pipe and hammer.

Yes, he tried fixing the starter by smacking it with a pipe and hammer. My friends found that amusing too.

Apparently, if you tap the starter it sometimes helps it start. Smacking it sort of helped, since it almost caught. Unfortunately, the starter was beyond the point of no return and the only way to make my car run again was to get a new one. And that was how my dad fixed my car. By smacking things and spending a lot of money for a replacement.

I’m still alive. Really I am. School is just kicking my ass right now. Moving on.

I really like my hands. They’re small and slender with long fingers. I’ve been told many times that I have the perfect piano hands, and sadly I don’t play piano. However, they make life a little difficult.

I find it a little sad that I can’t hold an XBOX 360 controller properly because my hands are too small. I have to position my right hand at a weird and uncomfortable angle so I can properly push all of the buttons. I can hold Playstation and Nintendo controllers just fine since they’re a little more compact. Or at least the buttons are placed close enough for my fingers to press without resorting to weird hand positioning. As demonstrated here.

Crappy cellphone picture is crappy. Also trying to balance camera phone and the controller was apparently a difficult task for me.

Even if I position my hands the proper way, my right hand will always resume to the position as pictured above. I don’t get it either.

This also makes it difficult to find rings in my size given how small my fingers are. My ring finger is a size 5, which is pretty damn small for an adult. It’s also a not very common size, grrr.

And with tiny hands come puny wrists. Finding a watch that doesn’t look ridiculous on my puny wrist is impossible. Basically, I need a watch with a narrow band and small face. And apparently that is difficult to find. FML!

Before going on with the review, the trailers for Inglourious Basterds were not what the film was about. In fact, it revealed very little about what the film was about. I was expecting something along the lines of a film about a bunch of vigilantes killing Nazis, which is what the film is about sort of but not entirely.

Obligatory spoiler warning after the cut.

The film actually doesn’t have as violence as you expect from a Tarantino film. In fact, it’s actually more effective in that manner since senseless bloodshed and whatnot loses its novelty after a while. The pacing is also a lot slower compared to other films, but I thought it was fine. Also most of the movie is in German or French (with English subtitles of course), which may throw off the audience since there was no obvious indication of that. This is no problem for me, since I’m used to watching foreign films — but most American audiences will most likely be turned off by it. Also the film is pretty long, but I didn’t notice it.

The film takes place in World War II, shortly after the Americans landed in Normandy but before the Germans surrendered. The film is set in Germany-occupied France. Most people would go into the movie with a vague idea of who the Basterds were from the trailers, a group of Jewish-American soldiers bent on revenge and killing/scalping as many Nazis as possible. The main character of the film is actually Shoshanna (Mélanie Laurent), a Jewish woman whose family was killed by Nazi soldiers. And the main antagonist is Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz), who is infamously known as the “Jew Hunter.”

The Basterds for the most part are really peripheral throughout the entire movie. You see them and their “reign of terror” less than you would assume given the title of the movie. But really, it was fine since the person that really stole the show (for me at least), was Christoph Waltz as Col. Landa.

Landa is the perfect mix of charm and evil genius. He likes to play mind games with his victims and sort of drag things out for as long as possible to savor it, and to make the victim as nervous as possible. Landa is a linguistic genius speaking perfect and fluent German, French, English, and Italian. And props to Waltz for acting perfectly in those languages. They say that acting in another language that isn’t native to you is probably the most difficult thing an actor can do, but this guy was just flawless. This is the stupid American in me who is absolutely amazed by this. I can’t even speak Vietnamese very well, let alone speak three more languages.

I also have to give props to Laurent for her first English-speaking movie debut. Frankly she spoke French most of the time, but her English was very good given that she was expected to act in French and English.

The violence in this film is brief, but very brutal. You would think from the film that you would see multiple scalpings and whatnot, but no. The audience only sees a couple and those few were enough to make anyone squirm uncomfortably in their seats. This coming from the girl who watched every episode of Heroes and Sylar’s method of killing his victims — that’s saying something. Also the last act of violence at the end of the movie by Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) was the icing on top of the cake. I won’t ruin it for you here, since it was just that awesome.

But what it makes in the lack of violence, there was a lot of tension. This was mostly due to Col. Landa with his psychological mind games. And there were also good bits of humor to break up some of the tension which was mostly due to Lt. Raine.

And this is a Tarantino film, so it is over the top in many aspects. Just listen to Lt. Raine’s thick Tennessee accent. The most of the Nazis were slimy and repulsive, especially in the scenes where Hitler is just laughing and having a jolly good time after seeing American soldiers get killed in a movie.

There was also this bit of irony where the audience is rooting for the Basterds’ and Shoshanna’s victory over the Nazis by of course shooting and blowing everything up, which you would typically do if your a Tarantino fan. But the Nazis were rooting for the deaths of Allies, which of course the typical American would despise. But we get a good laugh and whatnot when the Basterds shoot the Nazis. So the sort of role reversal is interesting to me at least.

So yes, go see the movie in you’re a Tarantino fan. Just don’t expect that you’re seeing another Kill Bill in terms of violence. Just expect something different from the trailers. Col. Landa is more than enough reason to see it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Waltz gets any Golden Globe or Oscar nominations (in fact, I really hope he does). It helps that he already won Best Actor at the Cannes Film Festival. The man deserves to be recognized.

As if I need more evidence of how neurotic I am. Most of these derived from either my parents or putting up with stupid people.

• Leaving the tea kettle boil too long, thus making me listen to the annoying whistle for longer than necessary.

My dad has this habit. In fact, he frequently forgets that he’s boiling the water (I swear he has the attention span of a rodent). This house has gone through many tea kettles because of his forgetfulness. Like the time he was boiling water for tea and decided to make a “quick” trip to Home Depot. Yeah, that kettle was dead by the time he got back.

It’s even worse when people take their sweet time to turn off the stove to make the kettle shut up. *twitch twitch*

• People oblivious to their surroundings.

As explained in my entry about the guy on his cell phone in the middle of a parking lot.

• Turn signals.

People who don’t use them and the people who forget that they’re using them. My dad is both of those people. Ironic that when I was learning how to drive, I forgot to use the turn signal once and he yelled at me for it. This is the man who forgets to use it most of the time and more often than not forgets that it’s on when he does use it.

• People who don’t send thank you notes.

So I make it to your special occasion — whatever it may be — and you don’t thank me for being with you. Not even a verbal thank you. I even got you a present for said occasion… way to be rude and portray yourself as a selfish and ungrateful little bitch.

• People who come at closing and people who stay past closing.

As demonstrated here and here.

• That “guy” in class. You know the one that always has to say something.

Demonstrated here and here.

There are many more. Dear God, there so are much more, but I’ll stop boring you now.

I have a Tumblr account now. It’s more of a place that I post stuff I come across that I like, but not really worth just posting a blog entry about it. It also makes a  good depository for all of that stuff instead of having it take up hard drive space.

Don’t worry I haven’t abandoned you guys yet… the few people that actually read this anyways.

Maybe we should have let evolution take its course and kill off some of the stupid people in society. And I’m talking about extremely dumb people that lack any sort of common sense whatsoever.

Like the guy standing in the middle of the parking lot talking on his cell phone on Saturday night. Right smack in the middle of the parking lot and continued standing there like an idiot for about another ten minutes until he almost got hit by a car. That’s kinda what you get when you are oblivious to your surroundings!

As demonstrated by my amazing paint skillz!

There was also the incident on Saturday where a drunk guy came in with his dog. Mind you, it was about 4:30-ish PM in 90 degree weather (and humidity!). The guy was sober enough to realize that it was too hot to tie the dog outside or leave him in the car, but he decided to just tie him in lobby area at the entrance while he goes wandering around the store for a couple of hours.

While the owner was off being a moron, his dog was not having it and you could hear the barking from the back of the store. Also found out later that the owner fell on the sidewalk outside of the store and took a piss on it… yeah. If it’s too hot for your dog to be left in the car or tied up outside, then leave the poor bugger at home!

It’s also good to never be drunk to avoid falling on the sidewalk or peeing on the sidewalk.

Common sense, people!

When working in customer service, rudeness and stupidity is a daily thing. Like the people that don’t get the hint that the store is closing despite dimming the lights and shutting the music and still don’t get the hint to leave.

• Don’t pull a hissy fit.

When I ask to see your receipt don’t argue with me. Just let me see it and mark it. It’s for the sake of store security and if you have a problem, then go ask for my manager. Also don’t literally shove the receipt in my face. I don’t want a paper cut on my face or eyes, thank you. Just calmly hand it over and let me check your bags for 10 seconds. Seriously, it’s not that time consuming or difficult.

And don’t yell at the cashiers for not being fast enough for you. We have to fight with ancient technology and whatnot. We’re tired. If you’re in such a hurry, then you shouldn’t have come to the store!

• Don’t insult the employee.

I do not plan on being a cashier for the rest of my life thank you. I’m only here because I need money to pay off for my expensive textbooks I need to pass my classes so I can get my degree and get a real job. Many of the employees here work here as a second job because of the crappy economy. We know how to do our job (for the most part), and frankly we’re a hell of a lot smarter than most of the people in this area of New York combined.

And don’t pull the “customer is always right” bullcrap. That is not true most of the time.

• Don’t keep us waiting around closing.

How would you like it if I came in where you work and kept you there long past closing? How would you like that, huh?

Learn how to tell time and don’t be that guy that everyone hates because you’re too stupid to think that the establishment’s closing time doesn’t apply to you. We want to go home!

That’s the lesson for today. Thank you and good night.